Tuesday, March 27, 2018

It’s Almost Opening Day, Do You Know Where Your Team Is?

by Jason Franz-

Cambridge Analytica notwithstanding, thank god for social media, because without it we would have no idea how much longer we all have until the perpetually hallowed Opening Day.

Six…
 
Five…
 
Four…
 
Three…
Of course, the bigger news for the Arizona Diamondbacks has been how they have crumbled even further into their Team Uncertainty persona. The past days have handed the fans of the Snakes the following:
  1. Pat Corbin named as the Opening Day starter because Zack Greinke pulled his groin (which is always better than pulling someone else’s groin I suppose),
  2. JD Martinez replacement Steven Souza essentially detached his pectoral muscle doing the one thing JD Martinez did not – play defense,
  3. Yasmany Tomas, the second highest paid Diamondback and planned fourth outfielder, was sent down to start the season in AAA ball despite Souza’s injury, 
  4. Robbie Ray, last season's great surprise, struck out 12 Single-A players and we're supposed to be excited about it, AND…
  5. D-Backs golden man Paul Goldschmidt was plunked on the head while playing in a MINOR LEAGUE GAME!?!
Well, crap.

I mean, at least they did close out sprint training with a couple solid outings by Zack Godley and Greinke to finish the preseason right around .500. As Nuke Laloosh said, “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.” Of course, he also said, “Women do get woolly because of all the stress…yes.”
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Original Diamondbacks skipper Buck Showalter used to claim that the best spring training record was .500 because the spring was the time for shaking stuff out. I wish I knew this was going to translate to something good for Arizona, but with this team, who the hell knows? We do have Roger Clyne singing the Anthem on Opening day with some neat airplanes, so there’s that.
Play ball???
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