Let's review what's happened to the Dodgers so far this season:
--A mysterious intestinal ailment, probably bred in the clubhouse hot tubs, tore through the entire team during Spring Training, forcing two dozen Dodgers to go to the hospital
--During the final Spring Training game against the Angels, the sewage system at Dodger Stadium exploded, forcing a river of shit-water onto the field and leading the team to evacuate the stands.
--The Dodgers lost the first two games of the season, at home, to the Giants 1-0 on Joe Panik home runs, with the losses being incurred by Clayton Kershaw and Kenley Jansen, their two best pitchers.
--They also lost two five-hour-plus games, which they led in the 15th and the 14th innings respectively, after the team ran out of pitchers and were forced to use a guy named Wilmer Font as their final bail-out.
--In one of those games, Jansen gave up a game-tying three-run homer in the 9th inning to Chris Owings of the Diamondbacks after getting the first two batters out and having the third batter down to his final strike.
--They were rained out in San Francisco when the city enjoyed its rainiest April day since the 1850s.
--Cody Bellinger got food poisoning after eating a steak quesadilla from his San Francisco hotel room service, and Alex Wood also got food poisoning after eating some bad sushi. Apparently, Corey Seager ALSO had food poisoning.
--Somehow, they won an extra-inning game even though Kershaw gave up the tying run in the 8th.
All told, the team is a very poor 3-6. They have, let's just say it, the worst offense in the National League so far. The pitching has been pretty good except for Jansen, Hyun-Jin Ryu, and whoever's being forced to go in the 15th. They've committed five errors, but four of those were in one game. Let's just assume the team OPS isn't going to continue to be under .600, and that two weeks from now, we'll all be having a good laugh about this Bad Beginning.
Tonight, the Dodgers begin a dull two-game tango with the Oakland A's, the least appealing matchup in all of baseball except for maybe the White Sox-Rays game. It will all be dwarfed beneath the Yankees-Red Sox sun, as always.
When will Justin Turner rise from the crypt?
— Kevin Ryder (@thekevinryder) October 25, 2017
Come back soon, Ginger Jesus!
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