Our Rightful Place

Hear me and rejoice, fans of the NL West! You have had the privilege of being saved by the great Kershaw. You may think this is suffering. No...it is salvation. The universal scales and the division standings tip toward balance because of your sacrifice. Smile...for even in death, you have become children of the great Dodgers.

It happened quietly, during a dinky midseason 6-3 Padres win over the Diamondbacks,  a game so obscure it was booted off the crawl on ESPN3 in favor of World Series Of Poker day 2A results, a game watched only by a half-dozen Phoenix-area retirees who will not survive the season and a few random 10-year-old El Cajon baseball nerds who were born with the Padres fan curse. But when Brad "Band Of The Hand" Hand got the final out Thursday night, the L.A. Dodgers, after months of infinite struggle, quietly slipped into first place, where they will remain until May 1, 2020.

The Diamondbacks are cute, with their players named Ketel and Shelby, perhaps even a little bit above average, as teams go. but we all know where the division title belongs, in the hands of the great Kershaw, the greatest pitcher of all time, and the greatest hitter of all time...Max Muncy.

With a snap of the fingers, 50 percent of the division has now disappeared. It doesn't matter which 50 percent as long as it includes the Rockies. Those guys are nasty. 

By law, the Dodgers are in first place again. Here is an exclusive photo of the celebration from Dodger Stadium. 

They did it. And by "it," I mean "nothing."