Monday, May 7, 2018

Relax, D-Backsland - All Is Well.

by Jason Franz

The Diamondbacks have been on an historic pace. They equaled an 111 year-old record, someone actually took a ride in the reincarnated bullpen cart and yesterday rookie call-up Matt Cook…errr…Koch became the first pitcher to made consecutive starts against the two teams in last season’s World Series since 1947. Sure, that last item is totally consequential yet simultaneously inconsequential, but hey, history.

Oh yeah, they took two of three against the Houston Astros, too.

Yet, just four days ago it was beginning to appear as if the good times train was screeching to a horrendous halt. After dropping the Dodgers’ injury depleted AA-call up squad in the first two games of a four-game set, their bats fell deathly silent to allow the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes a couple of sympathy wins, ending the series streak. They managed to then follow that up with a colossal 8-0 tail whipping in the series opener to the Astros. Three straight losses. Surely, this was it.

While the baseball gods appeared to be sending reality crashing down upon the desert, those pesky Colorado Rockies just keep hanging around. Just like last season, the Rockies continue to be the cockroaches of the NL West, always creeping in the shadows. You know they’re there and you even see them from time to time but they mostly hang in the shadows, just out of some real threat until they crawl into your ear while you sleep and cause 9 days of endless torture. I mean, look at Charlie Blackmon or Jon Gray – those are some skeezy looking dudes.

Thank Rita of Cascia, this Diamondbacks pitching staff remains unconscious, second in league ERA behind Houston. Much is being made locally about this rag-tag group of relatively unknowns who can’t be touched. The human emoji, Brad Boxburger, has become a shutdown closer, with The Beard playing the ultimate wing man except he probably ends up with all the ladies when its actually time to go home. Pat Corbin remains the hottest start nobody outside of Phoenix has heard of and Zack Greinke just keeps on keepin’ on. And there’s a bunch of other guys like Yoshi, the Sheriff, the other Zack, de la Rosa, TJ and some other dudes.


Oh yeah, AJ Pollock continues his tear and has become the Diamondbacks biggest re-signing priority, displacing Paul Goldschmidt who is still trying to get his mojo back from Dr. Evil.

 

And, oh yeah, the Diamondbacks still have yet to lose a series this season.

Meanwhile, Steven Souza, Jr. is a ninja.

So, Diamondbacks faithful, you can remain calm. All is well.
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